Signs he’s not super duper into you and probably won’t be calling
- Following a snowstorm, the entire sidewalk is covered in ice. You are taking tiny penguin steps trying not to fall as he casually strides 15 feet ahead of you, never even looking back to make sure you are still vertical.
- He flosses his teeth in front of you with one of those pick/floss contraptions. While sitting at the dinner table.
- He flat out tells you, en route to his house where he is planning to sleep with you, that “pussy is pussy”- meaning anything will do.
More to come. I need a nap to sleep off my shame.
It is really too crazy how much can happen in one month.
Reasons Why I’m Single #2
A threesome is probably not the best foundation in which to build a relationship upon.
Reasons Why I’m Single #1
Sometimes when I’m chewing up ice I let it melt in my mouth and I suck air in so that it sounds like I’m taking a big rip out of a bong.
Rules to live by
You can’t trust what a guy says when his penis is still in your vagina. I don’t know what it is, but they will say anything they think you want to hear. Even if you didn’t prompt it. Dumbasses.
“I’ve been so many different girls. I’ve been the girl the guy doesn’t care about, who meets her at a bar for a date and it ends in a make out in his car- meaningless and nothing. I’ve been the unattainable girl, the rebound, the girl with a puppy-dog crush, the crazy girl, the desperate girl, the dork, and the heartbreaker. I’ve been a bitch, and a sweetheart, and considered goth or mod or hipster. I’ve been the weird girl, the fancy girl, the fashiony city girl, the naïve girl. All depending on whose eyes are looking at me; Whose eyes I’m being seen through. I’ve been the flirt, the tease, the confusing girl who leads guys on, all the while, the only variable being the man who was looking at me. And the only constant being me. So I guess when I find the right guy, whatever that means, I’ll know because I’ll be the truest, happiest, best, most balanced version of myself. I’ll be the person I am when I’m all alone, or with friends… only more loved, and, um, not alone.”